Over the many years when making choices I’ve noticed a distinct difference between those who succeed and those who don’t. The ones who fully expect to discover solutions to their problems will choose a solution which will be beneficial and in their highest good, while those who focus only on problems won’t. Some even go so far as to refuse to consider solutions when they are offered. Problems are the ego’s favorite thing because they give it a reason for existing. A problem confirms the ego’s primary point of view in life: “Life is out to get me, so be prepared for the worst at all times.” This point of view keeps the ego fighting for its life… its favorite pastime. Many people have become so disconnected from their true nature that they erroneously believe their ego to be their only Self, and the ego wants to keep it that way.
As Osho reminds us “the ego is not an adventurer”. Alan Cohen teaches “Whenever I step forward to claim a big new “yes,” all of my old no’s come back to greet me”. Further, “when we are in fear, we are aligned with the ego. And then we begin the “dance with the ego and endless ruminations …”I have no choice”. Ego-driven people get to be right in not finding a solution if they are convinced there isn’t one and refuse to consider looking for it. In the ego-driven world, you lock yourself out from the gifts and joy that all those wonderful solutions offer.
On the other side is the “there’s always a solution” outlook. Every problem, big or small, is merely an invitation to use our intuition and creativity. Sonia Choquette in one of her books says that she learned the “there’s always a solution” from her mother. Later her teacher taught her the 19 solutions technique. Instead of one solution he took finding a solution to a whole new level when he taught that every problem had not one but 19 possible solutions. Further, you should consider all 19 solutions before choosing the best one.
She suggests the following process. You begin by writing down a problem for which you have no immediate solution, causing you to be worried or anxious or feel threatened in some way. Then either by writing them down or counting them off with a friend, immediately start naming 19 solutions to this problem. Your solutions can be practical or wildly creative and unrealistic. The point of the game is not to figure out an answer intellectually but to let your imagination wake up your intuition and surprise you with solutions your intellect or ego would never have considered. The key to success is to respond as fast as possible, spending no more than 30 seconds to come up with each solution. The longer you wait, you allow the ruminating ego driven mind to cloud the process. The magic of this game is that by the time you get to the 19th solution, you will have discovered at least two or three real solutions that will work. You will know this by the big happy smile and sense of relief crossing your face and running through your body. If you’re playing this game with a friend, you can take turns instead of going back and forth, each one naming a problem and all 19 solutions before the other person begins. You can apply 19 solutions to as many problems as you want. In fact, the more problems you present, the merrier, because with each one, your intuition and creativity get a significant workout. This effort makes them both strong and reliable.
Byron Katie has her process she calls “The Work. At the end of the Work, you have to do three “Turnarounds”. When doing the turnarounds, you are re-framing the thought. Then you have to give three examples that the “turnaround” can be equally true as the original thought. Once you see the three “turnarounds” are equally true, then you can develop the “there’s always a solution” outlook”.
I am sure there are many others processes. The point for me this month is to take these 30 days to develop a consistent “there’s always a solution” outlook”. Some phrases to assist:
Confusion is the last stop on the train to clarity.
-Alan Cohen
In a world of uncertainty, doubt is your doorway.
-Elizabeth Winkler
Mindfulness gives you time. Time gives you choice.
Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom.
-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana
