Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. -Pema Chodron
Continuing to dive deep into my theme of “understanding,” the foundation of understanding, in my view, is one’s capacity to be empathetic and compassionate. Being empathetic and compassionate is like having a superpower for creating solid and supportive relationships. Empathy allows you to understand others’ feelings, while compassion motivates you to take action to help. It’s a blend that encourages understanding while making a positive impact in others’ lives. Empathy and compassion go hand in hand, enhancing our connections with others and making our social interactions more meaningful and enriching.
What is the difference between empathetic and compassionate leadership?
According to Brené Brown, empathy is a skill that involves understanding and accepting another person’s feelings, while compassion is empathy plus action. Brown says that compassion is a belief system that involves relating to others and helping to ease their suffering.
Empathy is the ability to understand and accept another person’s feelings. It’s a skill that can be learned and taught. Brown says that empathy is a vulnerable choice that requires practice and hard work.
Compassion is an emotional response to empathy or sympathy that involves action. Brown says that compassion is a relationship between equals, and that it involves drawing from our own experiences, including our empathy, suffering, cruelty, and terror. (Note the quote above by Pema Chodron.)
Empathy is an understanding of our shared humanity. It’s the ability to see yourself in another person’s shoes. Compassion adds another dimension of a desire to help.
Related but different is sympathy which is feeling bad for someone but failing to relate to them emotionally. Brown says that sympathy can create an uneven power dynamic and lead to isolation and disconnection.
Sympathy is an understanding of someone else’s misfortune. At a time of so much suffering in the world, sympathy is essential; without it we run the risk of descending into selfishness, indifference, and greater despair. When we sympathize with others, it is possible to recognize their humanity—our common humanity. However, the near enemy of sympathy is pity. It has us hold others at arm’s length, feeling somehow superior to them, emphasizing their suffering rather than their agency and resilience. Sympathy’s shadow is detached, judgmental; it takes little responsibility for assisting those in need.
