This month the theme is “Letting Go & Surrender”. Earlier this month I wrote about the obstacles which I have become attached or things I have an aversion, the Kleshas. Sometimes when I have obstacles in my path, I make them worse by focusing on them, fixating on them. There are many ways that I can remove the obstacles that are in front of me but one of my ways is to simply not give them any energy. When I become aware of and accept that these obstacles or” Kleshas” are causing me to suffer, I look to the Five “Yamas”. The “Yamas”, as set forth by Patangali, are the antidotes to the “Kleshas” or poisons. By looking at these Five “Yamas” , “I can begin to take inventory of which “Klesha” is the root of my current challenge. The self-awareness and acceptance I gain by practicing the “Yamas”, can help me transform negative energy and cultivate a deep, abiding sense of peace. Here is a brief definition of each “Yama”, along with some questions I ask myself.
YAMA 1: NON-HARMING (AHIMSA)
Ahimsa, the first of the Yamas is the practice of non-harming or non-violence. This is the key, to maintaining both harmonious relationships in the world and a tranquil inner life. When I begin to realize that the inner self in others is identical to my own inner self, and I wish no harm to other.
Question: Where am I not practicing being more kind, accepting, and forgiving of myself and others. Where am I gossiping about others? Where am I throwing shade on someone else’s success? Where am I “playing the pity card”?
YAMA 2: TRUTHFULNESS (SATYA)
Satya, in turn, means “truthfulness”—seeing and reporting things as they are rather than the way I would like them to be.
Inwardly I learn to recognize the cascade of fears and other negative emotions that prompt me to twist reality. Once I have understood and processed these fears, my thoughts, speech, and actions can be realigned with the truth, even as I look more deeply into my own needs and desires.
Question: Where am I need telling lies? Where am I not speaking with kindness, compassion, and clarity? Where am I engaging in self-deprecating conversation? Where am I “playing small ball” because I convinced myself “I am not good enough”? Where do I say “I can’t” which really means “I won’t”? This mind set may arise from the Klesha “Dvesha” or Aversion. All of the things I don’t like and push away, from people to things to belief systems. I push them away because they cause suffering.
YAMA 3: NON-STEALING (ASTEYA)
Asteya: is non-stealing. We are most likely to associate stealing with tangible objects, but intangibles, such as information and emotional favors, are more likely to be the objects stolen in our world. The solution is to practice giving any chance I get and ultimately a state of mind, I will feel increasingly grateful and through selfless giving, my sense of inner gratitude may bring you outer abundance.
Question: Where do I have the urge to steal whether it be things, or thoughts. Usual, I find it arises from a my sense of unhappiness, incompleteness, and envy. Where do I project envy and jealousy on others abundance?
YAMA 4: MODERATING THE SENSES (BRAHMACHARYA)
This means that brahmacharya turns the mind inward, balancing and supervising the senses. This balancing leads to freedom from dependencies and cravings. When the mind is freed from domination by the senses, sensual pleasures are replaced by inner joy.
Question: Where am I not making wise choices about the books I read, the movies I see, the media I consume and the company I keep? Am I conserving energy and keep my mind focused and dynamic? Am I being moderate in all my activities so that I enjoy them—this is the middle path of brahmacharya.
YAMA 5: NON-POSSESSIVENESS (APARIGRAHA)
Aparigraha means “not grasping things,” or non-possessiveness. It helps me achieve a balanced relationship with the things that I call “mine.” This is world of attachment or one of the Kleshas “Raaga”. These are all of the things I am attached to, from people to things to belief systems. I cling to them, and that clinging creates suffering because I will inevitably complain about them when they will eventually change as they will.
Whenever I become possessive, I am, in turn, possessed, anxiously holding onto our things and grasping for more. But when I make good use of the possessions that come to me and enjoy them without becoming emotionally dependent on them, then they neither wield power over us nor lead to false identities and expectations. I need to examine my own tendencies toward possessiveness. The practice of non-possessiveness helps me to examine my assumptions and guides me back to healthy relationships with others.
Question: What are my attachments? Do I acquire more of something than I can use? Do I depend too much on others, taking more in a relationship than is healthy for me. Do I replace mutual give-and-take with the need for tight-fisted control, or attempt to increase my self-esteem by diminishing others?
The more I hoard material possessions, the more I am weighed down with energetic baggage, and the more I become attached to and worry about losing “my” possessions. Believing that the new object I buy will bring me happiness is based on a feeling of lack that all too often enters my mind. In this sense, ‘lack’ is that sense of ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not whole without that new thing’, when really, I always was and always will be good enough no matter what. What if I lighten the load a little by either selling some of the things I don’t need, or even better by giving them to charity, then I move towards living a less cluttered life of non-attachment.
In terms of my theme this month, “Surrender & Letting Go” I have identified areas in my life where I need to surrender and let go of what no longer serves me. I have identified the aspirational goals, the “Yamas”, I want to begin to live. The remaining question is how to transition? What is the mechanism I can use to release and how do I begin to live the life which will reflect my higher self? To be continued this week.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. —CARL ROGERS, On Becoming a Person
