From Debbie Ford’s book “Your Holiness”
(Forgiving Others prayer)
Dear God
Take away my grudges.
Take away my pain.
Release me of my hatred.
My heart is healed of blame.
Once we have forgiven ourselves and forgiven God, we are up for the real task: to forgive others. Again, I will quote my favorite spirtual teacher, Emmet Fox: “When you hold resentment against anyone, you are attaching yourself by a hook that is stronger than steel.” Now, would you want to be bound to a person who has hurt you, betrayed you, lied to you, fucked you, by something stronger than steel? How stupid would that be?
First, they rip part of your heart out, and then you give the rest of it to them? By clinging to your resentments, you rob yourself not only of your power and peace of mind but also of your connection to your holiness. It makes no sense. And don’t think you are hurting them with your grudges and resentments. Most of these people don’t care if you are hurt or angry; it’s no skin off their back. In fact, some people you hate are dead. So now you not only don’t have your power but you also have buried it alive in someone else’s grave. Crazy, right?
I’ve personally been through many difficult times in my life. Some were definitely self-induced, and some were probably Karmic in other words, unavoidable or meant to be. But no matter how they came about or whose fault they were, whether I created them or co-created them, whether I believed myself to be the victim or the victimizer, they are over now, and it no longer matters who was right or who was wrong, what they did or what I did. The only thing that matters is whether I can see the consequences of my actions or inactions and whether I’ve learned the lessons that these experiences have tried to bestow upon me.
There are a few questions that I always try to spend a sufficient amount of time dwelling on when I’m seeking the gifts that ultimately lead me to forgiveness:
How can I use this experience to become the kind of person my soul longs to be?
How can I use this lesson so that others can learn from me and maybe bypass a difficult life experience?
How can I use this incident to heal my heart?
How can I use this lesson to help heal the planet?
By letting go, I am fertilizing the ground of my consciousness, a necessity, if I am to grow and move forward. The process of tiling the soil of my psyche and weeding dead and useless emotional weeds and preparing the soil for an exciting futures to emerge.
We only hold on to our resentments when we are still trying to prove we are right and the other person is wrong. Or when we are still trying to change what happened in the past or to gain a sense of control over our present circumstances.
Maybe we still love the person, so we would rather be connected to them in a negative way than not to be connected at all. Or maybe they have become our excuse for why we don’t have it all, for why we are stuck, or for why we continue to beat ourselves up. These are just a few of the reasons why we hold on to our resentments, but no matter what the reason, if we want to move on, to have a life greater than the one we have right now, we must forgive.
Just to be clear, you don’t do this for the other person. You forgive for the sake of yourself. You do it for your freedom. Your resentments give others your power, your precious life force, your unlimited future. I recommend you take it all back and forgive.
God, (or whatever name you use for that which is divine)
Thank you in advance for doing this with me.
Thank you for being with me in times of heartache and loss.
Thank you for filling my mind right now with the knowledge that I can do this.
Thank you for filling my body with the strength of courage.
With you, right now, I take back my power.
I see that person standing before me with a humble face.
I see myself ten times bigger than that person
I see the cords that have kept us tied together in negative ways,
And I see myself cutting those cords now.
And I say to that person “I love you and I let you go forever.
“I forgive you and I release you now.”
I see that person floating away, getting smaller and smaller
and smaller until he/she disappears from my view.
I breathe deeper now as I thank you, God, for I am free!
I now see one of the many gifts I will receive by choosing the bold and courageous act of forgiveness.
I am free, I am free, l am free.
Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I’m free at last!
And so it is, and it is so, Amen.
